For any and all those that have been following the updates about the accident that almost killed my parents last year, here is the follow up article in the Wichita Eagle that tells about the sentencing hearing. The short version is that he got 18 months in jail with no allowance of parole, and a year of probation after his jail time.
How do I feel about it? I don’t know… sad, relieved, unsure, angry, etc, etc. There is nothing good that comes out of situations like these no matter how hard you try to put a positive spin or angle on it. Will Johnny Dore get treatment once he’s in jail? Likely not. Will not getting treatment during his jail time help him? Likely not. Does the current sentencing and follow up guidelines require he get treatment later? Maybe. Will Mr. Dore seek treatment on his own when he gets out of jail? Likely not…. unless…. but it’s the “unless” part that eats at me.
Will his family provide the strength and encouragement he’ll need to get treatment later on? I don’t know. Should our family reach out to show compassion and interest in helping this person turn it around? I don’t know. It all was put back in my face this morning as I sat in the nursing home with my dad, who was wiped out from the prior day’s events, laying half asleep in his bed while a television show on the History International Channel discussed the story of Cain & Abel from the old Testament of the Bible. The BIG question of the show being, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
I was actually discussing this with my partner, Michael, as I drove away from the nursing home, musing that perhaps I could visit Mr. Dore in jail and ask him, “what will you do now?” Because it doesn’t really end with the trial and sentencing hearing. Now the other part begins, the part where we all have to face the long term issues. We haven’t had as much time to do that as up till now its been spent on writing letters, attending hearings, coordinating care, healing from injuries (the ones that can be healed), talking to attorneys, categorizing receipts/bills, and dealing with insurers. Some of this will continue for a while as the civil case continues but I imagine that won’t last much longer.
Am I potentially the keeper of Dore? Will assuming jail and the Dept of Corrections are capable of rehabilitating him be the wrong thing to do? Realistically, jail and probation don’t solve issues, they’re just the tools for convicted persons to “pay their debt to society”. I’m much more concerned for the larger picture of how we can provide an environment where Dore will be more than sorry, but motivated and/or supported to actually make a change in his life. Even if the change is to change his driving habits after drinking. I really don’t expect him to stop drinking. Personally, I don’t care if he wants to drink – just don’t drink to obliteration and then drive a vehicle. So, in a sense, I can help be my brother’s keeper by either changing laws to include treatment as part of the jail sentence. Perhaps it means that I become more vocal and demanding of what is deemed permissible behavior – I know our family talks about it way more than we used to, including my brother, Steve, who shared his thoughts on the matter last night, and I agreed with his views. Perhaps putting more and more stigma and stricter laws on the topic, as they do in many European countries, will get people to stop being as reliant on their cars and to think of the greater good rather than thinking they must get behind the wheel to go home or wherever it is they go…
The numbers of people that drink and drive at high alcohol concentrations is mind boggling. The occasional glass of wine or a beer with dinner? Not that big a deal if it’s in moderation. But going out and drinking enough to not remember you plowed into a car? Not cool.
One sad part for me yesterday was hearing the judge say that since Mr. Dore had had so many prior DUI’s he was barred from providing a sentence that would require, or allow, Mr. Dore to be more useful. If this had been early in his drinking and driving history the judge could have considered things like requiring him to do odd jobs at my mother’s home so that he could replace the lost help at home that my 65 year old mother will need and that she had with Dad. The judge could have required Mr. Dore to visit my father every day – to see firsthand the difficult condition that my father is now facing for the rest of his life.
If these two (Dore and my Dad) were allowed this kind of exchange, perhaps it would be the motivating factor for Dore to stop the drinking and driving he has repeatedly done over the years (as evidenced by his record). Goodness knows that my father would be supportive of him in these efforts. Before the accident, my father would have been supportive and even now, despite the injuries he sustained, he would urge him in a positive manner. My father’s letter to the judge mentions that he is no stranger to the acts of a drunk because his own father had been an alcoholic. There have been numerous incidents at my parent’s home as well where drunks have run into their home or their cars sitting out front. I’ve been amazed at the number of times that alcoholism and drunk driving have impacted them over the course of their lives.
I can only hope that this is the last time my parents have an incident involving a drunk. In the meantime, life is altered and we’re still picking up the pieces and probably will be for a long time. Maybe when Mr. Dore is released in 18 months he’ll want to pick up a few of his own pieces and be his own keeper, as well as “his brother’s keeper” by staying off the road after drinking. I’ll be rooting for him.
